Feminist Perspective: Care for One’s Self

Taking care of myself has been a real struggle. Continous evalution of my time, energy, and work is done when i feel depleted and unmotivated to continue.

While at the feminist encuentro, I went to a workshop titled, Los Cuidados: un deseo, un derecho o una obligacion (To Take Care: A desire, a right, or an obligation). It was a workshop to reflect on what it meant for us, as womyn, to take care of others such as children, family, partner, and/or society. We each had to ask ourselves, “how do i feel about taking care of others, how does it feel to take care of myself, am I able to ask others to take care of me?”

I was thrown into deep thought about how easy it is for myself to want to take care of people around me. I try not to worry about people because after all, people will do what they feel like doing, regardless of my feelings, and regardless of whether or not they are harming themselves. But I  do  turn deeply considerate about those who I care about, I can be very self-less. And if I am selfish, i feel guilty, as though I still haven’t made time for such and such person. And finally, maybe, towards the end, will i begin to consider myself.

I have to remind myself to be selfish. When I am selfish, I am aware of it because it feels great and it becomes neccesary. I realized that sometimes, even though I may want to help, I do not have the capacity to do so. And so my problem becomes about being able to communicate my needs and what I can and can not do. And I am finally accepting that I have a real problem expressing my wants and needs because I do not want to be demanding, or high maintenance, or disturb anyone. Yet, there are so many people around me who are quick to not take up responsibilities and can announce 10 different reasons why that is so.

So I go back to my own process. I am finally pronouncing that I must practice communicating my needs. I have to advocate for my own well being. I need to use my voice not just for the cause, but for myself. The week before I went to Mexico I worked beyond 12 hours every day, making sure I would not leave anything pending. It was my way of allowing myself to leave, for just ONE week, and not have what I am responsible for fall apart.

Well, I love me. I want to be better at taking care of myself. I have been consciously practicing self-care at the mental, physical, and spiritual level for 2+ years now. And now I need to practice my communication more. Tengo que exigir mis necessidades. I have the right to not commit to things, to say I can not take something up, and i have the right to ask people to respect that. These things may seem simple and common sense, but really, it takes work to take care of yourself and to do it well.

So now I try to balance my engagement with the world vs. my own self- engagement. I am the most important person in my life. I will redefine what it means to take care of others. I will fight for my own space and my own time. I want to take care of my body and feed myself well. Exercise. Draw, read, write. I have the right to do NOTHING. And I do want others to care for me. I don’t need to be taken care of because I can’t stand on my own two feet, but I want those around me to be considerate towards me. And when im PMS-ing and on my period, i most def. need some chocolate, some one to make me tea, someone to hold me when I cry because I can’t help but feel the emotions, and I need warm socks, and comfy pillows.

Yes, I pronounce my needs. This is where im at. And if i went this personal, its because everyone should evaluate their needs, capacity, and care for others. It is our right to care for others or not. And from a feminist perspective, womyn shouldn’t have to be constant care takers. Our partners need to be better at taking care of themselves and family. And If we take care of our partners, it should be our desire to do so, not our obligation.

The state/governments also need to take up some more responsibilities because when budget cuts happen, social welfare gets butchered, and guess who picks up the pieces… WE WOMYN DO. We work more, volunteer more, and remain unhealthy. Think about all the teachers out there and how the great majority of them are womyn who are losing their jobs. If teaching K-12th was a male dominated career, would school districts pressure men to over-fill their classrooms beyond capacity, or cut their health benefits, or fire them without consideration.

At my job I am currently advocating for mental health days. You know how you ask for sick days, well I want my mental health days. The days I chose to stay home or take care of my personal business and not have to lie about being sick.

What are your needs? What should the government take care of in our society? Are you demanding your personal and societal needs?

Herstory of the Feminist Encuentro

On Monday, March 16th, 2009, the 11th Latin American and Caribbean Feminist Gathering began in Mexico City, Mexico. These historic gatherings of womyn from Mexico, Central America, South America, and the Caribbean happened for the first time in 1981 in Bogoto, Colombia. This space was created for the purpose of:

“Reuniting Latin American womyn who are committed to feminist practices to exchange experiences, opinions, identify problems and evaluate the different practices towards development, and in this way plan the work and projects needed for the future”. (Colectivo Colombiano CineMujer)

189 womyn participated, and nineteen countries were represented in the first gathering during the days of July 18–21, 1981. Four commissions/ workshops under the themes of Sexuality, Womyn and Culture, Womyn and Labor, and Feminism and Political Challenges were created. Indeed this gathering proved to be historic and conclusions set pace for the work that needed to be done under a feminist agenda:

1) Feminism in Latin America and its relation to the process of transformation and liberation in the context of this historic movement were explicitly specified and identified. Even though it was recognized that feminists shared similar challenges, a difference between feminist movements in Europe and the United States was established.

2) It was recognized that feminism was at the fore front in the struggle against capitalism and its relationships of subordination that exists between countries. It is a struggle against the relationship of power and violence and its multiple expressions in both the “public” and “private” sphere.

3) It was found necessary for the feminist movement to be independent from political parties.

4) Finally, the feminist struggle was not just engaged in the process for social change within Latin America, it is also important to transform daily life. The political importance of radically modifying the ways in which womyn related with each other, with men, children, and with objects. ( Comite Impulsor XI Encuentro Feminista, Mexico, D.F., 2009, pg. 16)

Another note of importance is that within this first gathering, November 25^th was declared as the “International Day of No Violence Against Womyn”. This day was chosen in memory of the Maribal Sisters who were assassinated by the dictator Trujillo of the Dominican Republic on November 25, 1960.

Since 1981, the gathering has occurred every 2-3 years there after. It has convened in Lima, Peru (1983), Bertioga, Brazil (1985), Taxco, Mexico (1987), San Bernardo, Argentina (1990), Costa del Sol, El Salvador (1993), Cartagena, Chile (1996), Juan Dolio, Dominican Republic (1999), Playa Tambor, Costa Rica (2002), and Sierra Negra, Brazil (2005). This year, 2009, it has returned to Mexico, to the Historic Center and core of this country. This gathering continues to transform and redefine feminism at the individual and collective level. So far, this gathering has held fierce discussions, debates, and workshops, balanced by art, theater, dance and dj´s.

*I am a couple days behind on my documentation of this event. Althought I was very much frustrated with my inability to document to my ideals, i had to let that go and realize that documenting, writing, and reflecting is alot more simple than these slow a** computers. It meant writing non-stop in my notebook for 45 minutes before going to sleep last night. It was the only way i was going to achieve sleep anyway. The mind needs a way to download, and pen and paper does not freeze on me or tell me that i no longer have enough GBs.

I have also become better at being more present, and being online and blogging takes away time from being present at the conference. This gathering has already added to my own evolution, transformation of being human, being a womyn, and being a feminist. And I´ll continue to share past this conference.

I love Mexico City and I Love Feminists!

BLOG 1 of many : Hola, from Mexico City. It has been exciting since minute one en el D.F. This city is amazing, historic, and beautiful. Theres so many people here. So many things to see and appreciate. So much life, expresión, and PUBLIC SPACE. This is a pix of the ZOCALO, a giant, flat Square plaza in the middle of Centro Historico, and you get the most sincere calmness sitting in the middle while all the cars and chaos roams around you. Familias, vendors, artists, and children chasing bubbles and kites is what you will see. But I can´t get away from the feeling of wonder to just sit in the middle of it all on the floor.

I currently feel limited in my ability to document and express to the World wide web the sights and sounds of Mexico City. The Computers freeze if i try to upload Pictures or film. I know documentation has occurred without this technology. So I will do my best to write in a way that you are able to imagine and visualize with me.

The first night here was FUN. I am lucky that the homegirl Nef is on this crazy aventura conmigo because she loves to laugh and dance. So it´s a perfect match because on Saturday night we roamed the streets of Centro Historico following the bright lights and the sounds of music to our destinations. Our first stop was another beautiful plaza with a huge stage and about 15,000 people !!!! It was a celebration of the arts and the organizers brought together some bad ass DJs. And people were dancing everywhere.

Being in this city, I am convinced of the enormous importance that public spaces hold in the development of a city and the way it is experienced. Public spaces allow for culture and expression to manifest. Here in the city there are young and old, straight and queer, and different classes coming together to share space. I especially enjoy watching the youth hanging out. I see how young people are able to develop their own identity because they are more free, they can walk to places, or take the public subway system to get around. In L.A. young people need a drivers license and a car to feel mobile. The bus system is slow. And we are at least 40-50 years behind on a public metro\ subway \ public transportation system.

There is a Subway system that can take you in all directions of Mexico city here. And you can either ride a taxi, bus, or walk around this crazy city. I love it. Even though my legs are feeling hella sore. Im gonna go get a massage after this blog.

So Nef and I jumped on the subway to get to Coyoacan – Los Coyotes en Nahual. This is where Frida Kahlo´s House is at. But before I jump to this visit, let me tell you about the subway. So it was on Sunday and there were hundreds of people underground. We jumped on train and then there was a guy announcing the sell of mix cd´s with cumbia, salsa, reggeaton, romanticas. The best part is that he had speakers and there I was holding on to the rail with cumbias in the train.

After 2 trains we made it to Coyoacan. We couldn´t decide whether to walk to the Jardin – one of the big parks in this town, or to take a taxi. Then this older couple made the decision for us and asked us if we wanted to share a taxi. So we jumped in the taxi since we were going to the same place. We tried to pay when we got off but they insisted on paying for all of us. They were so sweet.

The park was … GREAT. Again, there were so many people, and families, and food. Churros with chocolate, grilled corn, tostadas, mini-pancakes, fruit, ice-cream, tacos… And there were vendors with jewelry, clothes, art, leather, dolls, ceramics, and soooo much more. We took a break and we were not even half way around the park. We sat next to a water fountain with 2 copper coyotes in the middle. We rested our feet but we noticed everyone eating ice-cream and churros. We got up and went on the search for the perfect churro. This is where I would share the video I took, but I CANT, I SIMPLY CANT !!!!

After all of this we had an hour left before Frida Kahlo´s house was closed. So we hurried across the town and made it just in time. The blue house is beautiful. I love Frida. We could not stop talking about how great she was. She is an amazing woman who expressed her sexuality, politics, and art all in one. She was the subject of her paintings and I appreciate that stance of looking so deep within and reflecting your pensamientos, your pain and sorrow, and politics in a painting. And we saw her and Diego´s art studio with her wheelchair and box of oil paints.

I am so happy that I was able to be here in my life. I am sure Frida never imagined her house becoming a museum, and even less that on a random Sunday, there would be 2,040 visitors, including me and Nef.

Before we left Coyoacan we had to get some coffee and rest our feet. I had the most deliciously flavorful cup of coffee ever !!! I am going back to Coyoacan before I leave just for another cup. I ordered a CapuchiMoka and it was choclatey(¿), caffeine, warmness in my mouth. Wow, Starbucks sucks soooo much, I don´t ever want to drink it again. On the other hand, this coffee was the best.

Before I finish this blog…actually I probably have another page to go… but I totally skipped out on the rest of the funness from Saturday night. So after the big DJ dance party on the streets, Nef and I continued to roam to the next part of town. We had no idea where to go but there was definitely a sense of the night being far from over. People were still in that celebratory mood. And we realized it was Mexica New Year as well.

Again we followed the lights, turned some corners, found nothing, turned around, and then … taz taz taz, thump thump, horns and guitar, drums and laughter… where is that coming from??? We crossed a couple streets and found the source !!! It was live reggae in some upstairs club called Cultura. So we went in for 25 pesos which is like $1.25 and continued to dance. The band was called Los Aguas Aguas. They are band from Jalapa, Veracruz and we were promised a place to stay whenever we make it out there (we have it on video, jajaja). They were so much fun and they played such good music. They called it reggae fusion and indeed it was ska, cumbia, and reggae all in one. Then the DJ continued with the music and we continued with the dancing. We were very tired after we got to our hotel room sometime around 3 A.M.

Well, I made this trip to Mexico City for the 11th Latin American and Caribbean Feminist Gathering. And it began yesterday with a full day of registration.

There are womyn from allllll over Latin America; young, elder, queer, colorful, humble, righteous Cubanas, Indigenas, Bolivianas, Paraguayas, Nicaraguense, Salvadorenas, Panamenias, Brazileras, and Mexicanas !!!! It feels like -Nef and I are the only Chapina-Americanas, but none the less we are WOMYN and we are FEMINISTS. And it feels amazingly great. I am so grateful and I feel so blessed to be amongst such power. Wow… the rest of this calls for another blog. Estoy tan emocionada. And for now I need to leave this computer so I can be present in the rest of the conference. I needed to share my first couple of days. I will share the videos with you all, but it will have to be until I sit in front of my mac. Stay tuned to the blog, more pictures will come up. Especially since today I registered as part of the media and have access to their computer lab. I am currently surrounded by womyn photographers, producers, film makers, journalists, writers, and bloggers like me! I love Mexico City and I love Feminists!