Dime lo que es el Amor

21 May

Tell me what love means to you. What memories do you have attached to this word which helps give meaning to it. How do we create love, find love, and give love? What type of lover are you? Do you fall in love only once or many times thru-out life? 

I beleive that in many ways LOVE has been taken hostage by the mainstream popular culture of consumption. It has been turned into fantasy many times over. This hype created around being in love can also really mess with a young person who sees his/her peers coupling up. It can devastate self-esteem if there is no “love” returned. 

Here’s  a video in Spanish that i discovered today. It is in Spanish and the concept of love is very simply stated here, The philosopher speaking is actually a scientist by the name of by Eduard Ponset. (unfortunately worpdress wouldn’t let me embed this video, please watch the video)

also, a year ago i wrote the poem below. I myself have been thinking about love lately. I am 26 and have been in 2 very committed relationships since I was 20. I am re-realizing that there’s a part of me that i have yet to discover bc i have limited my love and experiences to these specific persons. I am not your typical person who imagines families and marriage at any age of choice. I don’t care about ticking clocks either. I just know that i have evolved many times over. and so has the way i love. 

if you have been thinking about love and its meaning, comment below or write to me at anaruth@streetinc.biz.

essay_writing_100

5/15/08 -on love: 

comes without asking for it. 
i’ve been afraid of it. 
i’ve invited the feeling and emotion. 
it is possible to love more than once. 
it is possible to fall in love with the same person countless times. 
“loving somebody is different from being in love with somebody”

usually the first connection/attraction with someon is physical. but the connections that are longer lasting are intellectual and spiritual. 

the person i love: 
loves life. 
loves to dream.
loves to create. 
was sent to me by a shooting star.

as a woman, we tend to love or care for our partners (especially men) as if we were there mothers. serving them, making sure they eat, regressing more than necessary, endless devotion, pampering, making sure they feel good. in that process we forget about ourselves. we forget about our dreams, our goals, our freedom. 

a partner should motivate and inspire. a partner who loves you should bring you up, belive in you, instill confidence in you. 
a person who loves themself can love someone in a healthier manner. you compliment your own love with someone elses. you share love. as opposed to just giving and giving more of you with little to nothing in return. 

 “you dont have to be rich to rule my world, you don’t have to be cool” 

communication between people is a challenge, but it is important to have, especially if you are building. honest communication in any relationship must be practiced.

if intentions are not apparent, be careful. follow your instincts. 

“the signs are everywhere”

are you a consumer? or do you create ? 
love?

i love.

 

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6 Responses to “Dime lo que es el Amor”

  1. Gina May 22, 2009 at 2:49 AM #

    Thx for link to balzac’s video 🙂

  2. Daniel May 22, 2009 at 4:02 PM #

    to me love is dangerous, it cannot be rationalized, it means being able to let go and not be afraid. When the feeling of love is not reciprocated it stings the ego and hurts the soul. To be loved by the one you have attached your emotion to is a great feeling if not the greatest feeling, but love comes and love goes. Do we fall in love? I don’t think so, I think people say they “fall in love” and to me it seems like a choice, if love does exist I believe you don’t have a choice, you don’t get love, love gets you, because love is more than just the honeymoon stage, love is something that is worked on by those involved, on a daily basis. i disagree with the statement made by some that is to the effect of “He/she makes me whole” I don’t think any other person should make one whole, In my ignorance I say this: I’m good, balanced…whole and would like to share this feeling with another being that is on the same level. Personally, I fear monogamy but at times find myself wanting a consistent partner with who I can share my successes, failures and vise versa. All too often I think we fall in lust and don’t know it or don’t want to see it, no one wants to be alone really, or at least that is my solitary opinion. Is lust wrong? is it merely a craving of the flesh? if there are no other attachments, is satisfying that craving wrong? does love need to be attached to all physical relationships? In not wanting to be alone we seek comfort in anyone who will comfort us. What is intimacy? not physical intimacy, but emotional intimacy, to open up to another about our little intricacies that make us who we are, I sometimes find that I am intimate with some friends of the opposite sex and never establish physical attachment, but they know my secrets, the secrets that if i had a partner she would know, but again in my fear of monogamy i find that my secrets are scattered around, sometimes I wish i could have just one specific person to go to to say these things to. How does one know when they have found, “the right one” how does one know when to fight and fight and fight for a love, and when does one know that it is a pointless cause and should move on because it’s just not meant to be. Is putting up with somebody love? or is love knowing that you must let go, “I want you to be happy, even if it’s not with me” these are questions that I pose, not questions that I have answers to. In my personal path I have encountered this emotion, I don’t think anyone is immune to love, I know I’m a sucker for a good conversation. But to love someone who does not feel the same, “it is better to have loved and lost then to have never loved at all” very cliche, somewhat true. to love someone who doesnt share the emotion is torture, it means one must move on. Some don’t want to see all of the time and effort put into a relationship dissintegrate into mere memories that will eventually fade, but love comes and goes. Some don’t attach emotions to certain physical relationships for this very reason. I would argue that some people are passionate about life and transfer this feeling into the realm of erotic love, some idealize love, some romanticize love, and they are all too often disappointed when things don’t work out, i was a hopeless romantic turned disillusioned optimist. But i still believe in love, I’m just not holding my breathe waiting for the right one. All of this being stated i pose this last question, is love a compromise? and if so, when do we know when we have found a middle ground?
    Daniel Morales Leon.

  3. kantuta May 22, 2009 at 8:44 PM #

    love i love myself but i gave myself a whole year to be alone, an ask myself what kind of men i wanted but it just seems that love is not for me just when i though he is the right one turn out to be the worst one, love is so complicated it evens scares me to think to love again, of being afraid to get hurt again, in my life i was in a realtionship for 7 years we broke up an had to find myself again but i never learn the game meaning i never dated, never know hoe to flirt or know if a guy likes me or not the sad part i am 30 yeard old raised the old fashion way an still i do not have a clue what real love is or if there is a real good men outhere love i jsut don’t know anymore what love is to me is the love of myself an the creator but like any women i wish one day i have the love of a good man…

  4. ajtun May 25, 2009 at 6:41 PM #

    thank you gina from balzac tv for making the short film with someone who very deliberately and as matter of fact answers what love is. me gusto mucho la simplecidad en sus explicaciones. el amor no tiene que ser tan complicado. somos nosotros quien complicamos el amor con nuestras inseguridades, nuestros pasados, y en la manera en que nos valorizamos.

  5. ajtun May 25, 2009 at 7:03 PM #

    daniel, i agree with whole persons coming together. and in this sense not having to rely on another being to maintain who we are as individuals. we all look for companionship, thru friendships, siblings, family, bf/gf. We are social beings. Also whether its a crush, lust, or love that you feel and play out, it will also speak to wherever you are with your sexuality, commitments, etc.

    as a sag, i dont think its wrong to feel lust and play that out. una aventura es una aventura. thats why i point out communication. are both people participating in this willingly and openly. would someone really expect to fall in love during a wild night out at the club? i won’t judge, be lets all be real with ourselves and our encounters.

    you ask alot of questions. you answer your questions in more questions. love is evolutionary, the way our identity is, the way our careers are, etc. we are evolutionary beings, so one experience with someone should not dictate the experiences that are to come. although there are people who convince themselves that, “this is what love is going to be like for me”, and they will play out that role over and over again.

    everyone whom i have loved and been committed to gave me more than i could ask for and expect. ive grown from each experience. but i also feel these persons entered my life for specific purposes in suppose to grow and learn from. love does come and go, people come and go, so do friendships, what makes love different? Even though i have broken hearts, my heart has been hurt in the process as well. my heart also has wings, and it is restless.

    when i was in mexico, a womyn stated, “esta bien que uno comunique sus necesidades en el amor. que como mujeres exijamos mas. si alguien ya no es de tu gusto segui pa’delante, que devemos explorar mas, y exigir mas de la siguiente persona. pero si despues de provar el amor con otras personas y te das cuenta que el amor de el pasado es el mas satisfactorio, regresa a ese amor”. translation: try love, taste love, expect more, ask for more, move on, experiment, bc only thru trying love out with different people will you find what you need, if you realize that the love/partner you always wanted you already had in the past, then go back, and find that love/partner again.

    let love be.

  6. ajtun May 25, 2009 at 7:17 PM #

    hola kantuta. after one of the film screenings we should grab some food in lil tokyo and keep talking bout this…

    is dating a game? yah. theres something about it that is not straight forward and honest. in the game of dating it feels like people are kinda selfish about it. so if you do date, be selfish too. maybe just be better at communicating expectations.

    30 is young. im gonna be 30 soon. and i hope im still dating and meeting people at 30, 40, 50, when ever. i think your relationship for 7 years was a type of love. but its not the only one. including the person who turned out to be terrible, there must have been something sincere in all of that. he just was not for you and you figured that out.

    making time for yourself is a healthy thing. i think dating and meeting other people can also be healthy when you are ready to be at that stage again.

    personally, i like flirting. i do it unconsciously and consciously. also displaying my confidence can come out as flirtatious, when really im just secure about myself. i dont mind other people flirting with me, just dont cross my boundries. i think flirting happens in different ways, its not just the meeting of eyes on a dancefloor and then grinding on someone. hahahaha. yah, i dont like that one.

    my flirting is on an intellectual tip. what kind of flirting and meetings do you like? how do you want to meet someone? do you have clarity now after these negative experiences as to what you want and dont want in a bf? i think that is of value.

    my mother had 3 partners whom she had children with. 2 of them were physically, mentally, and spiritually abusing. 1 cheated on her and had a child with someone else. all of this was devastation for her. and as a child i didnt want anyone for my mom, i wanted her to myself. and as an adult, i wish she had a partner who loved her, took care of her, valued her as a woman. this is what makes me sad, that this did not happen in her life. and in truth, i think my mom gave up on love. even though my mom is almost 60, i think if she wanted, and if destiny allowed it, she could still fall in love bc she has a lot to give as much as she deserves to be loved…

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